With the amount of work mothers do, one day of celebration is not enough, especially when the celebration is a gift like an ugly dressing gown (not cool if you are under 90) or a serving of cold tea in bed at 6am, with milk in it, when you have drunk only black tea your entire life.
Mothers Day is over. The dressing gown is in the back of the wardrobe, stained with tears and most Mums are back to feeling invisible and under appreciated.
Stop being an assehole and do these five things to celebrate your mother when it’s not mothers day.
- Let your Mum sleep in. It’s all she really wants. It’s all she’s wanted since the day you were born. You took that luxury from her.
- Don’t make her breakfast in bed for the rest of the year. There is no woman alive who actually enjoys having breakfast in bed. It’s awkward and it’s messy. But because mothers are long suffering, they don’t say anything.
- A steady flow of presents throughout the year is acceptable. Indoor plants, diamonds, an in-ground pool complete with porn-star pool cleaner are some of the more appropriate gifts
- If your Mum is old, talk to her. Old people love hearing stories. If she is young, don’t talk to her because you probably do it all day, everyday.
- Let her get drunk as often as she wants. If this is every night, she is your Mum and the boss of you so you can’t judge.
Mums are the hardest working demographic on the planet so show them year round appreciation. Oh, and don’t forget the g-string for the pool cleaner.